Last week I played one of the oddest and most enjoyable games of 40k I've ever played; so I thought I'd provide a quick write up for your amusement.
I played against my dear friend Rich and his Orks in a 1000 point game. For various reasons we decided to forgo all notions of a mission and simply knock seven bells out of eachother. First guy to die, loses!
For those weary souls who carved their way through my last battle report against Necrons, this isn't the same Rich I played back then. This is an entirely different Rich; hereafter known as Other Rich.
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| Entirely unrelated photograph of my knight menacing a Custodes. |
As is rapidly becoming battle report tradition, I didn't take any photos (a good thing too as we played in a poorly lit, yet welcoming, pub). However I've made some lovely maps so hopefully you won't get too blinded by walls of text.
So, without further ado, a breakdown of the armies:
The Omnissiah's Chosen (Ed, Adeptus Mechanicus: Graia)
Tech-priest Dominus (Anzion's Pseudogenetor, Magos Biologis)
Tech-priest Enginseer
10 Skitarii Vanguard (3x plasma caliver)
5 Skitarii Vanguard (2x arc rifle and Alpha with arc pistol)
6 Skitarii Rangers (2x arc rifle and Alpha with taser goad)
5 Skitarii Rangers (2x Transuranic Arquebus and Alpha with power sword)
5 Sicarian Ruststalkers (Transonic Blades)
Onager Dunecrawler (Neutron laser and 2x Heavy stubber)
Onager Dunecrawler (Eradication Beamer and Heavy stubber)
Sydonian Dragoon (phosphor serpenta)
Ironstrider Ballistarius (Twin Cognis Lascannon)
3 Kataphron Breachers (Arc claws and Heavy arc rifles)
Unwashed Xenos Rabble (Other Rich, Orks: Bad Moons)
Warboss (Killa Klaw, Kombi-shoota)
Big Mek (Souped-up Shokka)
Weirdboy (Warp Head, Da Jump, Warpath)
Mek (Kustom mega slugga)
10 Boyz (Slugga, choppa)
10 Grots
10 Grots
Morkanaut (Kustom Force Field)
3 Meganobz (Killsaws) (Transported in Morkanaut)
Mek Gun (Traktor Cannon)
7 Lootas
So a bit of a heavy list from the Orks, but one that I'm used to facing. The wierdboy would no doubt be throwing a nasty warboss my way backed up by the Morkanaut and some heavy firepower from the lootas and mek gun. Still I was quietly confident, after all, I've faced this sort of thing many times, what could go wrong?? Well, famous last words and all that....
Here's what deployment looked like:
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| Lots of gunz on the left for me to worry about. |
We rolled off for first turn and I lost. I also failed to seize and the Orks kicked things off. The Morkanaut (containing the Meganobz) waddled forwards with both units of grots following behind. Other Rich declined to move anything else and moved onto the psychic phase. The weirdboy managed to cast Warpath on the Warboss before also hitting him with Da Jump. The Warboss was catapulted directly in front of my Ruststalkers and was looking very scary. I used the Infoslave Skull stratagem to fire at him with the nearby unit of Vanguard but could only manage one wound.
Next up came the Ork shooting phase. The lootas let rip at the Neutron Onager using the More Dakka and Showin' Off stratagems to cause plenty of wounds. Foolishly, I used a CP re-roll to save one of them, but still the Onager took six damage. Next up the Mek Gun took a crack at the same target but fortunately failed to wound.
However, the Souped-up Skokka had yet to fire. Other Rich was rolling hot and it let rip at strength ten with ten shots! Needless to say, after all was said and done, my poor Onager was a smoking ruin. Fortunately it didn't explode.
The Morkanaut also let rip with it's variety of horrible guns. The rokkits targeted the Ironstrider but failed to wound, the shootas targeted the vanguard and managed to kill one. However, the nasty Ork plasma weapon on its right arm targeted my second Onager and managed to get two wounds through. On the damage roll, Other Rich rolled a might eleven and my second Dunecrawler was utterly obliterated.
At this point I was pretty dumbstruck, the Ork shooting had proved devastating and had robbed me of two of my best units; however worse was yet to come.
In the assault phase, the steroided up Warboss charged into the Ruststalkers and Vanguard. I managed nothing on overwatch and he targeted the Ruststalkers with his attacks. It was basically a foregone conclusion (hitting on twos, re-rolling, wounding on twos, re-rolling) but we went through the motions anyway. I was unsurprised as I cleared the Ruststalkers off the table. Manfully the vanguard bonked the Warboss with their gun-butts but it didn't achieve anything.
Going into my turn one I had suffered horrendous losses. Three units down and a Warboss in my lines and I had barely rolled a dice! Still, I'm stupid enough not to know when to quit so I played on grimly.
I knew the warboss had to die, so the vanguard fell back from combat and I lined up a charge with the dragoon. Most of my remaining units trained their guns on the Warboss.
In the shooting phase, combined fire from my Skitarii and Magos Dominus killed the Warboss. The plasma vanguard managed four wounds on the Morkanaut but sadly the Kataphron Breachers could only manage one more. I fired the twin-lascannon from the Ironstrider at the Morkanaut and actually got a wound past the kustom-force field but promptly rolled a one for damage.
My Transuranic Arquebuses targeted the Big Mek but could only manage one wound.
I had no charges to declare (and my dragoon was now in a precarious position) so I passed on to Ork turn 2.
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| End of turn 1, things are looking........not great. |
The Morkanaut moved up ready to try to charge the Dragoon (and undoubtedly ruin my Skitarii with its guns); the grots trundled forward and the Mek woke up and chased after the Morkanaut in an attempt to heal it. Fortunately his advance roll was miserable and he tripped forward 1". The weirdboy and the boyz moved forward too.
In the psychic phase the weirdboy attempted Warpath on the boyz but failed to cast. He then used da jump and hurled them forwards in front of my plasma vanguard. I really should have used Infoslave Skull again but I forgot.
Fortunately Ork shooting was a little more forgiving this time around. The lootas fired upon the Arquebus Rangers but could only kill two of them. The Shokk Attack Gun targeted the Ironstrider and caused three wounds. The Mek Gun fired at the Ironstrider as well, but failed to wound again!
Once again the Morkanaut spread its shots around and caused three wounds on the Dragoon. It also killed a few of the plasma vanguard and one of the rangers. Critically it failed to finish off the Ironstrider.
In the assault phase the Morkanaut ploughed into the Dragoon and crushed it mercilessly. It then consolidated forwards. The boyz attempted to charge the Vanguard but failed to make the distance.
Coming into my turn two I had taken more losses but was weathering the storm better. I knew the Morkanaut had to die this turn or it would be basically game over. With that thought I lined up all my guns to target it and the servitors and the Dominus to charge it just in case.
The Ironstrider was repaired by a friendly Enginseer and promptly chewed five wounds off the Morkanaut with its lascannons (it must have been blessed by the Omnissiah). The servitors and plasma vanguard managed to cause six more wounds between them (although one of the vanguard died to an overheat). The rangers, Dominus and the remaining vanguard all whiffed pathetically leaving it down to my Arquebusiers to finish the job. Fortunately I managed to get a six on the wound roll which caused a mortal wound felling the mighty Morkanaut. Even more fortunately it didn't explode (it was right in the middle of my units and this would have been devastating). It even had the decency to crush one of the Meganobz as it died.
However, that did leave me in the unenviable position of having two Killsaw Meganobz bearing down on me and no guns left to shoot them with. At this point I did the only reasonable thing and charged straight at them with my Skitarii Rangers, Kataphrons and my Magos Dominus. Unfortunately the Dominus didn't make the charge but the other two units made it in. Sadly however, the Mega-armour proved too thick and only one wound was caused. The Meganobz struck back and pulverised one of the Servitors.
With that, we moved onto Ork turn 3. Things were looking better, but the Xenos were still in a commanding position.
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| End of turn 2, the Ork firebase is still very much intact. |
At the beginning of turn three the boyz, grots, Mek and Weirdboy all moved forwards seeking to get into assault range. The Meganobz stayed locked in combat. The Weirdboy was too far away to do anything particularly useful in the psychic phase; he may have attempted to use da jump on himself and failed to cast.
Ork shooting was, once again, more forgiving this turn. The lootas targeted the plasma vanguard with a massive 21 shots! After some good hit rolls this translated into 10 wounds but I got very lucky and managed to make eight 4+ saves so only two of them bit the dust. The Shokk Attack Gun took a crack at the Arquebus Rangers who were trying to snipe him off the board but only managed to kill one model.
Finally the Mek Gun fired at the Ironstrider causing five wounds and leaving it on one! Fortunately I had repaired it in the previous turn or it would have been destroyed.
The boyz took a crack at the vanguard with their sluggas but missed entirely. They did however make the charge and slaughtered the entire unit in the assault phase. They then consolidated forward to engage the second unit of vanguard.
The Meganobz attacked the servitors once again and were able to destroy one more of them. I would have lost both models but I managed to roll two 6+ 'refusal to yield' saves for my Forgeworld trait. This left one model clinging to life with a single wound remaining.
Things were looking a bit dismal coming into my turn 3. I had two Meganobz and a unit of boyz tearing through my dwindling infantry and very little left to fight back with.
Nonetheless, I moved up my Dominus and Enginseer to engage the Orks and the Ironstrider moved up as well, just so it could be repaired. I managed to put 2 wounds back on it with the Enginseer. The lone servitor fell back from combat and was repaired by the nearby Dominus up to full health. I also fell back from the Meganobz with the rangers hoping that shooting from my remaining few guns could do some damage.
In the shooting phase I fired the enginseer's laspistol at the meganobz but failed to wound. I then targeted them with the Dominus' Eradication Ray. Some brilliant rolling saw 3 shots which hit and wounded; each with a -4ap and d3 damage. This was enough to blast the Meganobz to bits and made me feel a lot better. I took a crack at the Mek Gun with the Ironstrider but only caused 1 wound.
In the assault phase I charged both of my characters into the unit of boyz. The Dominus must have changed his batteries because he managed to kill 5 boyz in combat (probably thanks to a combination of his relic and warlord trait). The enginseer accounted for one more, but the vanguard couldn't do any damage. In return the remaining boyz killed one of the vanguard.
In the morale phase the boyz lost another model leaving only three remaining in the unit.
At this point things were looking up thanks to some inspired fighting from my warlord. Never underestimate a tech-priest!
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| End of turn 3, I still haven't managed to silence da big gunz. |
And so we moved into Ork turn 4. The grots, mek and weirdboy all moved forwards once again and the few remaining boyz stayed locked in combat.
In the psychic phase the weirdboy cast smite on the rangers killing one of them.
The grots shot at the nearby Skitarii rangers and managed to kill one more of them with their grot blastas. How insulting!
The Mek Gun shot at the Ironstrider but fortunately (for me) failed to wound. However the Lootas let rip again and turned the Ironstrider into a pile of scrap metal. The Shokk Attack Gun fired at the lone servitor but only caused 2 damage leaving him on a single wound again!
In the assault phase the grots and Mek charged into the Skitarii rangers. The grots managed nothing with their measly strength of 2 but the Mek was able to bring one of the Skitarii down. The Ork boyz attacked the Vanguard and the Dominus but were unable to cause any wounds. In response, the Dominus dissected the rest of the Ork boyz and the Rangers were able to kill one of the grots.
At the top of my turn 4 I knew I had to try to deal with the lootas, mek gun and Shokk Attack Gun. If I didn't, there was no way my remaining handful of infantry would be able to survive the coming turn. I moved the Dominus into a position to shoot the Lootas and possibly charge the grots. I moved the enginseer up to try a charge on the Mek and my remaining vanguard moved up to get some shots on the lootas. At the end of my movement phase the Dominus repaired the long suffering servitor once again bringing him back to full health.
The Dominus and Vanguard fired upon the lootas managing to bring down four of them; hopefully this would reduce their impact on the game somewhat. The lone servitor targeted the Mek Gun with his Heavy Arc rifle managing to get a wound through which caused 5 damage! With that the Mek Gun was destroyed and I had gotten very lucky.
My remaining snipers took a pop at the Shokk Attack Gun and whittled him down to a single wound remaining. Sadly, they weren't able to kill him.
In the assault phase my characters attempted to charge to grots but only the Enginseer made it in. Between him and the Skitarii they were able to kill 4 grots and in response the Mek put a wound on the Enginseer. In the morale phase, 2 more grots fled the field.
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| End of turn 4, things are looking more even with severe losses on both sides. |
Coming into Ork turn 5 things were looking very close. I had reduced the Ork firebase to only five models (albeit with some nasty guns remaining) and I still had a few Skitarii left to fight back with. It was all to play for!
To begin with, the depleted grots fell back from combat, whilst the unharmed unit of grots moved up to replace them. The weirdboy moved forward for an easy charge into the Skitarii Vanguard and let loose with a smite which killed one of them.
In the shooting phase, the remaining three lootas fired upon the Arquebus armed rangers but some poor rolling saw all the shots go wide. The Shokk Attack Gun also targeted the snipers but was only able to fell one of them. The Mek shot at the Enginseer with his kustom mega-slugga but fortunately missed.
The assault phase saw the weirdboy charge into the remaining Skitarii Vanguard and the grots charge into the Rangers. The weirdboy then squashed the last two Skitarii with his staff and the Mek put another wound onto the Enginseer. The grots failed to harm the rangers. In reply, the rangers managed to kill two of the grots and subsequently another one fled in the morale phase.
Mechanicus turn 5 saw the Dominus move over to get a charge on the weirdboy. Before doing so I fired his macrostubber at the small unit of grots and wiped them out. He then charged into the weirdboy and tore him apart with a combination of Anzion's Pseudogenetor and his axe.
The kataphron servitor targeted the lootas with its heavy arc rifle and was able to kill two more of them with some surprisingly accurate shooting. There was now only one loota left!
In the combat with the grots, the rangers managed to bring down another two of the diminutive creatures. The Enginseer and Mek swung at eachother but were unable to cause any damage.
It was now the end of turn 5 and we should have rolled for random game length. However, things were so nailbitingly close that we decided to play to the death. Had the game ended here, it would have been a draw with first blood to the Orks and slay the warlord to the Mechanicus.
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| End of turn 5, very few models left on either side. It really could go either way. |
Coming into Ork turn 6 there was no movement. In shooting, the lone loota targeted the lone skitarii sniper on a faraway rooftop and riddled him with bullets. The Shokk Attack Gun fired at the servitor and managed to do two wounds AGAIN! Would this servitor never die!? The mek missed with his mega-slugga and the grots shot a skitarii to death with their grot blastas.
The mek fought first in the assault phase and failed to get past the enginseer's armour. The rangers slew two grots and the enginseer missed pathetically.
In my turn I shot the remaining loota with the wounded servitor and charged into the mek with the tech-priest dominus. The Dominus was successful where the enginseer had failed and he brought down the Ork Mek. The rangers were able to add another grot to their tally and the remaining two grots fled the field in the morale phase.
Now there was only one Ork left on the field (and on one wound no less!) so we could have called it there. However I wasn't about to deny Other Rich the satisfaction of firing the Souped Up Shokka one last time. He targeted the servitor but only rolled 4 strength 4 shots and failed to cause any harm. After that, the remaining two rangers did the honours and shot the Big Mek with their arc rifle.
So ended a spectacularly bloody and enjoyable game. I had only five models remaining on the field including a battered Enginseer and an amazingly lucky Kataphron Servitor (if a Servitor can be said to be 'lucky').
My thanks to Other Rich for a fantastic game, and one I thought I would certainly lose. Here's hoping our next game is just as good.
